at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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