If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
i just had sex bonerless
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
