Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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