Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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