the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
