There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
