How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
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