I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
