we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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