Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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