There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
