Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
i've created a new STD.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
