Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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