so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
