I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
