she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
