11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
