I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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