so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
