All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Randomize
