He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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