If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I skipped work to stalk him.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
