Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
