The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
