We won't sleep together?
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
