What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
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