since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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