whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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