Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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