I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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