i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I'm sobbing to NWA
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
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