Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
