Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
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