Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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