And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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