The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
mondays should just be called national damage control day
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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