Sry I called you an 8
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Randomize
