I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
