that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
