dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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