Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize