you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
