I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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