some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
