i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
