So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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