ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Randomize
