Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize