I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
