He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
