sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
